Discover, Build, and Balance Your Passions Through The Unified Passion Model
The Blueprint for a Life Rich in Passion, Purpose, and Balance
Have you ever felt like you haven’t found your ‘thing’ yet, or that passion is reserved solely for others?
I didn’t think of myself as a passionate individual—or at least, I didn’t for most of my life. Passion felt distant, something only others had. For a long time, I thought some people were just ‘passionate types’ and others weren’t. Even the word “passion” carried a depth of emotion that I had never felt comfortable holding.
I recognized that passion was important, something worth cultivating, but imagining myself deeply invested in anything felt completely foreign. Most things simply didn’t have that natural allure that I associated with passion.
Understanding Passion
What I’ve come to realize is that passion doesn’t come from a single decision. It develops over time, through engagement and experience. You can’t just decide to be passionate about tennis if you’ve never engaged with the sport!
True passion requires depth and a commitment to building a connection with an activity. This means that anyone can develop passion, regardless of where they start. Yet its significance in health and well-being is underappreciated. Research shows that people with a sense of purpose tend to live longer, with better physical and mental health (Purpose in Life as a Predictor of Mortality Across Adulthood, Hill & Turiano, 2014).
So, where does passion come from? And is there a “right” type of passion? According to Robert Vallerand, passion comes in two forms:
Harmonious Passion: This emerges when we freely engage in activities we enjoy, creating a sense of balance with them in our lives.
Obsessive Passion: Occurs when we feel controlled or pressured into activities, often due to external forces or a need for self-esteem.
Obsessive Passion - The Musician
Let's consider the example of a dedicated musician. They might feel compelled to practice rigorously for validation, financial security, or simply due to stress and anxiety about their technical abilities. This can lead to neglecting other areas of life, like relationships and self-care.
Obsessive passions are often (but not always) defined by:
Lack of balance
Need for external validation
Guilt or anxiety when disengaged from the practice
Resistance to other life priorities
Lack of flexibility, leading to burnout
Harmonious Passion - The Painter
Now, let’s look at someone who loves to paint. They may spend hours in the studio, but they’re able to take breaks, enjoy time with family, and focus on other goals without feeling torn. Their painting enriches and energizes their life rather than consuming it.
Key traits in Harmonious Passion are:
Intrinsic Motivation - fueled by enjoyment rather than external validation
Balanced Integration
Flexibility
Emotional Well-being - supports rather than drains mental health
Identity Balance - doesn’t dominate or limit self-identity
Sustainability
Harmonious passion allows us to find meaning and joy in the process itself, whereas obsessive passion makes us overly attached to results and can cause us to burn out. - Brad Stulberg
Curiosity as a Pathway to Passion
Passion is intimidating.
To be passionate is to be committed, and commitment requires sacrifice. Not only that—what if you dedicate yourself to something only to be met with rejection or indifference?
These are common barriers to the pursuit of a passion. Deciding to commit yourself to anything is challenging, and knowing where to start is often the hardest part. But as Elizabeth Gilbert explains in Big Magic, curiosity can be a gentle entry point:
“Curiosity is the gentle cousin of passion. Curiosity, is a milder, quieter, more welcoming, and more democratic entity.”
In other words, let your curiosity guide you to passion. Curiosity allows us to ease into an activity without the pressure of immediate results, much like harmonious passion encourages balance and fulfillment.
My journey into jiu jitsu and martial arts, one of my biggest passions in life, wasn't as direct as you would think.
After a period of time that was particularly difficult for me to adjust to, post-college, I had found myself falling out of favor from the hamster wheel of strength training, cardio, repeat.
I couldn't force myself to get to the gym any longer. It wasn't cutting it. By chance, and a little persuasion, I discovered boxing. I found boxing to be quite enjoyable, and the people I met along the way were interesting characters - to say the least! However, it wasn’t long until I found myself eyeing the muay thai class going on in the same facility.
"Wow, I can punch AND kick?" I thought.
Shortly after, much of my training was muay thai centric. Due to the added element of the lower body, the depth of the sport seemed to pull me in even more than boxing.
One day as I was packing my bags and walking out of the gym, I noticed a jiu jitsu class beginning. Up until that point, I hadn't even considered jiu jitsu as a sport for myself - but I found myself intensely curious after the first glance. So I gave it a shot.
I realized that the depth of technique required for Jiu Jitsu seemed to far surpass any of the previous endeavors. It took my transition from boxing to muay thai to recognize that depth was important, and it took the transition from muay thai to jiu jitsu to find that “Goldilocks” physically oriented passion. This journey from boxing to Muay Thai to jiu jitsu showed me how curiosity can reveal a passion that feels ‘just right.’
The Unified Passion Model
The Unified Passion Model isn’t about finding just one thing to drive you. It’s about creating a balanced life through three core types of passion: Intellectual, Creative, and Physical. It’s a model for achieving balance in our lives.
Intellectual passion fuels curiosity and mental engagement.
Creative passion sparks self-expression and innovation.
Physical passion connects you to your body, grounding and energizing you.
Together, these passions form a life structure that’s resilient, fulfilling, and deeply connected. Furthermore, when balance is achieved through your passionate activities—you may find that deeper inner qualities become enriched such as innovative thinking or expressive action.
Here are some examples of activities that fall under each passion category. Keep in mind that this list is non-exhaustive and their relationships to the category they fulfill can change based on the person.
Physical
Passions that primarily involve physical engagement, energy, and endurance.
Sports Training (e.g., soccer, basketball)
Powerlifting
Aerobics and Cardio Workouts
Swimming
Cycling
Gymnastics
Running or Sprinting
Kayaking. paddleboarding, or Canoeing
Creative
Passions that focus on imagination, self-expression, and the act of creation.
Visual Arts (e.g., painting, drawing)
Creative Writing (e.g., fiction, poetry)
Songwriting and Music Composition
Sculpture and Pottery
Fashion Design
Illustration and Comic Art
Interior Decoration
Crafting (e.g., handmade jewelry, DIY projects)
Intellectual*
Passions that engage the mind, are driven by curiosity, and require critical thinking.
Careers in Management
Teaching
Mathematics and Logic Puzzles
Philosophy and Ethical Debates
Scientific Research
Coding and Software Development
Economics and Market Analysis
Linguistics and Language Studies
History and Cultural Studies
Political Analysis and Theory
*Most topics/jobs/careers have a basis of knowledge which can be explored in an intellectual pursuit if the perspective is such.
According to the Unified Passion Model, engaging in multiple passions (each in their own discipline) fosters balance while increasing your capabilities in expressive action, focused resilience, and innovative thinking. This can build a path to passions which hadn’t been previously considered. For example, you may find that practicing drawing and the intellectual pursuit of building design develops a passion in architecture.
Building Passion: The AMP Formula
Daniel Pink in Drive identifies a formula for igniting passion: AMP.
Autonomy: Engaging with an activity on your own terms
Mastery: Feeling a sense of growth and improvement
Purpose: Connecting to a larger “why”
Most people can easily connect with autonomy and mastery. Doing something because YOU want to do it is a natural motivator, and anyone who’s improved in an area knows the motivation that progress brings.
Purpose, however, is where we get stuck. We tend to fixate on the financial 'Why?"— Why start painting if there aren't any buyers lined up? Why join a basketball league if you’re unlikely to make it to the NBA at 35? Daniel Pink states:
"People can have two types of mindsets—'profit' and 'purpose.' Those driven by purpose are more likely to find fulfillment."
Applying the AMP formula and the Unified Passion Model gives us a systematic way to introduce and balance passions in our life. Let’s also consider…
10 Steps to Find, Build, and Connect With Your Passion
Curiosity Sampling: Try any activities that spark even a small amount of interest. Let curiosity guide you without pressure to commit. Think cooking is useful? Join a cooking class. Finding yourself curious about coins? Try collecting a few unique ones to start.
Notice Which Activities Stick In Your Thoughts: Pay attention to what you enjoy enough to revisit, or even think about. Recurrent thoughts are the roots of passion, and the desire to learn "just a little bit more" is all that it takes to make an activity wort revisiting.
Focus on Enjoyment, Not Perfection: Enjoy the process. You're going to feel inferior in some ways at first. It's a rare event to have a natural aptitude for any new hobby. Don't let yourself focus on outcomes, and continue to walk the path.
Build a Strong “Why?”: Purpose drives us, and as you venture past curiosity developing a strong “Why?” becomes more crucial. Remember that values-focused purpose trumps a financial focus.
Make A System: Passion grows through consistency. And consistency, even with those things you love, is challenging. Have a plan, and do your best to follow through. Make sure the plan specifies when and where.
Make Room For At Least 3 Different Passions Per the Unified Passion Model: To create a well-rounded life, engage your mind (Intellectual), your creativity (Creative), and your body (Physical).
Apply the AMP Formula: Knowing that healthy passions are bred from autonomy, mastery, and purpose can help you sustain your efforts towards a meaningful passion.
Be weary of Obsessive Passions: Regularly check in with your passions - are they integrating with your life or becoming your life? If the latter, then ensure there's enough balance to circumvent burn out.
Stay Adaptable: Passions can evolve, and that’s part of the journey. Allow yourself to shift focus or try new angles as your interests grow and change.
Be Patient: Building meaningful passion takes time. Trust the process and allow yourself to grow into it naturally.
Nothing is more magnetic than deep passion. Passion is tangible, yet there’s no shortcut to developing it. It’s about the mindful practice of purpose. Curiosity can lead us to passion, but once we arrive, it’s up to us to honor it, assign it purpose, and work toward mastery.